In this article:
Why Mothers Often Feel Overlooked
Attention tends to shift almost entirely to the newborn. This isn’t imagined—it’s embedded in social and cultural practices.- Medical system gaps – Postnatal visits focus largely on the baby’s growth and vaccines, not the mother’s stitches, mental health, or pain.
- Cultural expectations – In India, rituals like chhathi or naming ceremonies highlight the infant, while the mother is expected to quietly recover in the background.
- Social habits – Visitors bring baby clothes and toys, but forget to ask how you are coping or if you need rest.
- Gender roles – Mothers are assumed to “cope” by default, while the newborn’s needs are spoken for openly.
How This Imbalance Affects You
When you feel everyone cares more about the baby, the impact can ripple across different areas of life:- Mental health – Neglect can intensify postpartum depression or anxiety.
- Physical recovery – Pain or fatigue may be ignored, delaying healing.
- Bonding confidence – Feeling invisible can erode your sense of competence as a parent.
- Relationships – Partners and families may not realise the resentment building when your needs go unspoken.
Factors That Make These Feelings Stronger
- Lack of rest and sleep deprivation – Fatigue heightens feelings of being unappreciated.
- Unacknowledged pain – Stitches, bleeding, or pelvic heaviness may go unnoticed when everyone focuses on the baby.
- Isolation – Limited mobility during confinement or the first 40 days can leave you cut off from support.
- Comparison pressure – Seeing others celebrated while you feel sidelined deepens guilt and loneliness.
How to Recognise When It’s Too Much
It helps to spot early signs that your need for support is not being met:- Crying frequently when visitors leave.
- Feeling guilty for asking for help.
- Ignoring symptoms like heavy bleeding, pain, or mood swings.
- Feeling rage or hopelessness that no one acknowledges.
Coping Strategies That Actually Help
- Communicate openly – Say clearly: “I need you to check on me too, not just the baby.” Specific requests work better than general ones.
- Set visitor boundaries – Limit crowds, and ask visitors to bring meals or help with chores instead of gifts.
- Reframe traditions – Adapt rituals so they include food, massage, or rest time for you as well as celebrations for the baby.
- Seek professional care – Schedule a postpartum check-up for yourself, not just the baby. Research shows early maternal check-ins reduce depression risk.
- Lean on self-care tools – Journaling, short walks, or Ayurvedic practices like warm sesame oil massages can restore grounding during this Vata-heavy stage.
Emotional and Practical Support
- Partner role – Ask your partner to visibly share baby care so relatives naturally recognise your recovery needs too.
- Community groups – Join postpartum support circles or WhatsApp communities where other mothers share openly.
- Household help – Prioritise paid or family help for chores, so your energy goes into healing, not just survival.
- Self-compassion – Remind yourself daily: needing care is not weakness, it’s part of recovery.
Whether you’re pregnant, a new mom, or navigating postpartum, you don’t have to do it alone. Join our support group to connect, share, and support one another.
FAQs on Why New Mothers Often Feel Overlooked After Birth
- Is it normal to feel jealous of the attention the baby gets?
Yes. Many mothers report this. It doesn’t mean you love your child less—it means your needs are being overlooked. - How can I ask for support without sounding ungrateful?
Try: “When you check on me, it helps me take better care of the baby.” This frames your need as family well-being. - Can feeling invisible affect recovery?
Yes. Lack of maternal support is linked to slower healing and higher rates of postpartum depression. - Who should I talk to first if I feel this way?
Start with your partner or closest relative. If it continues, speak with your gynaecologist or a perinatal therapist.