How to Talk About Withdrawal Method Risks With a Partner

BySamradni Pradhan
Updated: 11 Aug 2025, 9:30 am
Medical Reviewed by Dr. Tripti Raheja

Contraception methods, mainly withdrawal, may seem weird to talk about, yet your sexual and reproductive health depends on them. This blog guides you through the risks of withdrawal and how to converse about it with your partner with respect and outright honesty. Learn how to enter into clear, comfortable conversations while protecting yourself.

Pregatips
Talking about birth control is important, but it's not always easy. If you or your partner is thinking of withdrawal, you should know about the risks and limitations. Withdrawal, or "pulling out", is pretty straightforward and convenient to do, but it is far from being a reliable method of contraception.

In this article:


This blog will help you understand the basics of the withdrawal method and prepare you to discuss the risks with your partner. You don't need to be a doctor to do this. You need the right set of information and a thoughtful, respectful approach.


What is the Withdrawal Method?

Using the pull-out procedure, one can prevent pregnancy by removing the penis from the vagina before ejaculation. Some couples choose this method because it is free, requires no equipment, and can be done naturally. On the other hand, if it is not done correctly every time, it has an extremely high potential for failure.


Why the Withdrawal Method Isn’t Fully Reliable

Before discussing it with your partner, you need to understand the actual risks. The withdrawal process isn't usually reliable for the following reasons:

  • Pre-ejaculate can contain sperm: Even before ejaculation, fluid released during arousal (called pre-cum) may contain sperm, which can cause pregnancy.
  • Timing must be perfect: The male partner must pull out at exactly the right moment. A small delay can result in sperm entering the vagina.
  • Lack of control or experience: Younger or less experienced partners may find it difficult to control ejaculation.
  • No protection from STIs: This method does not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like condoms do.
The failure rate of the withdrawal method is around 20% with typical use, which means 1 in 5 people relying on this method may still get pregnant.


Why You Need to Talk About It

The topic of contraception is more than just preventing pregnancy. It entails sharing responsibilities, caring for one another, and having mutual trust. Talking about withdrawal and its risks is essential if you happen to be with a partner who prefers this method.

Individuals use this method without being aware of its serious risk of being ineffective. On the other hand, some use it because they feel weird putting a condom on or using hormonal contraceptives. Partners need to have an honest discussion, which will ensure that both are aware of the consequences together and make decisions accordingly.




How to Start the Conversation

You may feel nervous bringing this up, but remember: your health and comfort matter. This is how you can politely and calmly begin the conversation:

1. Choose the Right Moment

Avoid bringing up the topic in the middle of intimacy or during an argument. It is best to wait until you are both alone and neither of you feels hurried.

Example:
"Could we discuss how we're managing birth control? It's critical that we have the same understanding in this case."

2. Be Honest but Gentle

Kindly voice your thoughts without blaming. Use “I” statements to explain your feelings.

Example:
"It was only after reading about the withdrawal approach that I realised how unreliable it really is. I’m a little worried it might not be the safest option for us."

3. Share Information

Sometimes, your partner may simply not be aware of all the facts. Share what you’ve learned calmly.

Example:
"Did you know that pre-cum can sometimes have sperm in it? Even if we’re careful, there’s still a chance of pregnancy."

4. Listen to Their Views

Your partner may also have reasons for choosing this method. Hear them out without interrupting. Understanding their side will make the conversation more productive.

5. Suggest Better Alternatives

If you’re not comfortable with withdrawal, suggest exploring safer birth control options together, like condoms, pills, IUDs, or implants.

Example:
"We should look into different ways with a greater likelihood of succeeding. I just want us both to feel safe and confident about this."


What to Do if You Disagree

Sometimes, your partner may not take your concerns seriously or may insist on using the withdrawal method despite the risks. If that happens:

  • Reassert your boundaries: You are free to refuse any approach that causes you discomfort.
  • Explain how it affects you: Let them know that taking chances with birth control can lead to stress, fear, or an unwanted pregnancy.
  • Involve a professional: You can suggest visiting a healthcare provider together to get accurate information and professional guidance.
While the withdrawal method might seem convenient, it also has very real risks that both partners must be aware of. Communicating these risks to the partner can sometimes be uncomfortable, yet it is crucial if both partners want to make responsible decisions together.

By choosing a suitable time, speaking honestly about facts, and listening openly to one another, you can engage in a respectful conversation that will strengthen your relationship and promote your overall well-being.

Both of you should feel safe and supported when it comes to birth control. Do not remain silent about exploring better options that will bring you peace of mind.


FAQs on How to Talk About Withdrawal Method Risks With a Partner


  1. Is the withdrawal method ever safe to use?
    The withdrawal method reduces the chance of getting pregnant, but it is not as reliable as other choices. One may use it as a backup or temporary option, but it is not recommended as the only way to prevent pregnancy.
  2. What are some better alternatives to the withdrawal method?
    Some of the safer methods are condoms (which protect against STIs), the pill, IUDs, contraceptive implants, and emergency contraceptive pills (ECPs) in case of mishaps.
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