Decoding Your Toddler's Tantrums: What Every Parent Needs To Know About Your Toddler’s Emotional Outbursts

Why Toddlers Throw Tantrums

• Neurological Development: During brain development, emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are highly active in toddlers. Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for self-regulation and impulse control, is immature. This imbalance results in tantrums.
• Autonomic Nervous System: The ANS has two main parts, and when a toddler cries, both systems work together. During tantrums, the sympathetic nervous system activates stress responses (increasing heart rate and muscle tension), while the parasympathetic nervous system slows the heart rate and calms the child.
• Stress Hormones: Hormones such as cortisol and adrenocorticotropic hormone spike during tantrums, triggering a stress response.
• Overstimulation: A toddler's sensory system is still developing. Loud noises, bright lights, and strong smells may overwhelm the toddler, leading to tantrums. Overstimulation in sensory pathways triggers a fight-or-flight response, leading to tantrums.
• Sleep Deprivation: Lack of sleep triggers stress hormones, reducing the brain’s ability to manage emotions and self-soothing skills. Poor sleep quality, difficulty sleeping, and insufficient sleep can lead to more emotional outbursts.
• Hunger and Blood Sugar Fluctuation: Hunger lowers blood sugar levels. The brain is dependent on glucose for energy. If blood sugar level drops, the brain’s ability to regulate emotions also declines. Toddlers' small stomachs and increased metabolism cannot store energy reserves. Frequent small meals and snacks are important for the toddler.
• Separation Anxiety: Toddlers are dependent on their caregivers. The absence of a caregiver can trigger anxiety and stress. A caregiver’s absence feels threatening to the toddler, triggering the brain’s fear response and releasing cortisol. Signs of separation anxiety include clinging, crying, and trouble sleeping.
• Limited Motor Skills: Toddlers learn to crawl, walk, and grasp objects between ages 1 and 3. However, their motor skills are immature and don't support their desire to do things independently. This frustration often results in tantrums.

How to Respond to Toddler Tantrums

• Stay Calm: A fussy toddler naturally causes stress and frustration to caregivers. During this time, being calm and composed helps soothe the child’s nervous system and foster emotional regulation.
• Observe: Toddlers throw tantrums if they are hungry, scared, or overstimulated. Look for the toddler’s facial expression and body language to decode the reasons. Check for signs of irritation, redness, itching, or rubbing that may lead to tantrums.
• Responsive Touch: If the toddler keeps crying, comforting touch, like holding, rocking, and hugging, can provide relaxation and security. Setting safe boundaries helps toddlers manage overwhelming emotions. These strategies help reduce heart rate and relax muscles.
• Predictability: Changes in routine can create tension for a growing toddler. Toddlers thrive on predictability. Establishing a consistent routine for waking, meals, naps, and bedtimes is important. Before making any changes, provide warnings and use timers for a smooth transition.
• Comforting Techniques: During tantrums and emotional outbursts, toddlers go through a rollercoaster of emotions, and their nervous systems overreact. Comforting techniques help the toddler feel safe and supported. Offer physical comfort through gentle stroking, hugging and being close. Speaking softly and empathetically helps the child soothe and provides reassurance.

Mistakes to Avoid

• Punishment: Punishing the child increases distress, fear, and aggression, leading to behavioural problems, reduced trust, and attachment issues.
• Yelling: Shouting at the kid increases cortisol levels, and toddlers mistake it as a threat.
• Ignoring: Being unresponsive and neglecting the toddler’s distress increases the tantrums and reduces bonding.
• Overstimulation: A toddler’s sensory system is still developing. Overstimulating them with loud voices can lead to sensory overload and frustration.
• Using screens: Digital devices should be completely avoided, especially during tantrum times. Letting the toddler find comfort in screens and technology reduces self-regulation and increases tantrums over time.

Special Scenarios

• Public: If the toddler throws tantrums in public, stay calm and composed. Avoid scolding and yelling. Offer toys or change their focus to help reduce the tantrums.
• Feeding: Hunger can lead to feeding tantrums. Maintain a productive routine. If the toddler shows resistance, don't pressure them to eat. Be gentle and offer physical comfort during nursing.
• Bedtime: Separation anxiety and overstimulation may lead to struggles in sleeping. So create a soothing, predictable sleeping environment and routine.
• Vaccination: Pain and fear post-vaccination can be high and result in tantrums. Use toys and music to distract them and provide physical comfort, reducing stress.

FAQs on Decoding Your Toddler Tantrums: What Every Parent Needs To Know About Your Toddler's Emotional Outbursts

1. What are the signs of an abnormal tantrum in toddlers?
   Abnormal tantrums may include increased frequency, long duration, difficulty calming down, self-harm or harm to others, aggression such as hitting, kicking, and biting, and out-of-the-blue tantrums.
2. Does screen time affect tantrums in toddlers?
   Screens easily attract and hold the toddler’s attention. Increased screen time makes it difficult for the child to manage their emotions and hinders self-soothing abilities.
3. What does an ADHD tantrum in toddlers look like?
   ADHD tantrum or meltdown results in crying, yelling, screaming, throwing objects, clenching fists, kicking, and exhibiting aggressive actions.