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Debunking Myths Around the Frequency of Sex While Trying To Conceive
Myth #1: You need to have sex every single day
It’s a common misconception that might be wearing you out emotionally and physically. While it might seem logical that more sex equals higher chances, that’s not necessarily the case.In reality, having sex every day throughout your cycle doesn’t significantly increase your chances compared to having sex every other day during your fertile window. Why? Because sperm can survive inside your reproductive tract for up to five days. That means even if you don’t hit ovulation day precisely, sperm can still be around when the egg is released.
What this means for you:
Aim for sex every other day during your fertile window (typically the 5–6 days leading up to and including ovulation). This helps ensure a constant presence of sperm without causing burnout or performance anxiety.
Myth #2: You can only get pregnant on your ovulation day
This one adds unnecessary pressure. You can feel as though if you do not precisely time sex with ovulation, then you have missed the boat. This, however, is untrue.Ovulation is often said to occur every 14 - 28-day cycle, but in reality it can vary greatly. Monitoring ovulation through basal body temperature, cervical mucus, or ovulation predictor kits can aid in pregnancy, but there is no guarantee of success.
What this means for you:
Rather than stressing over precise timing, it’s far more effective to have regular, well-spaced intercourse during the fertile window. Start around day 10 and aim for sex every other day until day 16, just to comfortably cover your bases.
Myth #3: More sex impacts sperm quality
You may have heard that too much sex or daily sex reduces sperm count or quality. Although there is a slight decline in the volume of semen for frequently ejaculated males, the majority of people can retain normal sperm parameters with daily or alternating day sessions of intercourse.However, going too long without ejaculation (say, more than 5–7 days) can also lead to older, less motile sperm.
What this means for you:
If your partner has normal sperm health, we would suggest sex every other day, which is perfectly balanced. If there are known fertility problems, a specialist may recommend tailored timing, though for most couples, regular intimacy works wonders.
Myth #4: You should “Save Up” sperm before ovulation
This one comes up often and can be misleading. The idea is that abstaining from sex for days to “build up” sperm strength can actually work against you. In fact, longer abstinence (more than 5 days) can reduce sperm motility and increase the presence of abnormal sperm.What this means for you:
Encourage a steady rhythm instead of saving up. Think of it as keeping the sperm supply fresh and agile. Intercourse every 24–48 hours during the fertile window is ideal.
Myth #5: You must use specific positions or lie flat after sex
You might have heard some interesting advice, like lifting your hips, lying down for 30 minutes, or using specific positions to “help” the sperm reach the egg. While these may offer peace of mind, there's no clinical evidence that they make a significant difference.What this means for you:
While lying down for a few minutes won’t hurt, you don’t need to stand on your head or follow a specific routine. Focus more on timing and sperm health than post-sex positioning.
Let’s Talk About Sperm Health
While frequency plays a role, it's just one factor. Sperm health, including motility, count, and morphology, is just as essential.Encourage lifestyle habits that support reproductive health:
- A balanced, antioxidant-rich diet
- Avoiding smoking and excessive alcohol
- Regular, moderate exercise
- Managing stress
- Avoiding heat exposure (like hot tubs and saunas)
So, How Often Should You Really Be Having Sex?
Let’s cut through the confusion and give you clear, practical guidance you can rely on. While there’s no “perfect” number that applies to every couple, there is a well-supported rhythm that can optimise your chances without being exposed to undue pressure.- Every other day during your fertile window (typically days 10–16 of your cycle) is considered the sweet spot for timing. This frequency ensures a healthy presence of sperm in your reproductive tract throughout the time you're most likely to ovulate. Since sperm can live for up to five days, you don’t need to predict the exact moment of ovulation; you just need to be consistent during this window.
- If your schedule, energy, and desire allow, daily intercourse during the fertile window is perfectly fine, too. In healthy couples with no known fertility issues, daily sex doesn’t harm sperm quality and may slightly increase the odds, especially if you’re not tracking ovulation precisely. Just be mindful of not turning intimacy into a chore.
- Outside of your fertile window, aim for sex 1–2 times per week. While these times might not align with peak fertility, they still contribute to overall reproductive health, help maintain emotional closeness, and support regular sperm renewal for your partner. Plus, sustaining your connection through the ups and downs of the conception journey is incredibly valuable.
Trying to conceive doesn’t have to mean scheduling your life down to the hour. Despite the myths and well-meaning advice you’ve heard, science favours consistency and connection over rigid rules. Understanding your cycle, having sex regularly during your fertile window, and maintaining both physical and emotional wellness will support your fertility journey beautifully.
You’re not just trying to make a baby, you’re nurturing your relationship, your hope, and your future. Don’t let myths steal your peace. Trust your body, trust the process, and stay informed.
FAQs on How Frequent Should Sex Be While Trying To Conceive
- Can too much sex reduce the chances of conception?
No, not for most healthy couples. Daily or every-other-day sex during your fertile window is safe and effective. Only in cases of known sperm issues might a doctor recommend less frequent intercourse. - How do I know when I’m ovulating?
You can track ovulation using tools like basal body temperature charts, cervical mucus observations, and ovulation predictor kits. Apps can help you monitor patterns, but cycle variation is normal, so don’t rely on just one method. - Is it okay to skip a day if we’re tired or stressed?
Absolutely. You don’t need to hit every single day to conceive. Sperm can live up to five days, so missing a day won’t derail your chances. Emotional well-being is equally important.
