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. One in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. Even though it is very common, the experience is emotionally difficult and deeply personal. Women are surprised by how intense the grief of a miscarriage can be. The grief is accompanied by feelings of guilt and worrying about future pregnancies.
People who experience this often end up suffering in silence. This is because those who suffer through a miscarriage have trouble sharing this news with their loved ones. They worry that their loved ones will shift the blame on them by asking triggering questions like if they were too stressed or if they did something wrong. While these questions are well-intentioned, they often imply that the miscarriage is the woman's fault. They also come at a time when the woman would already be blaming herself.
There are no studies that correlate stress to a miscarriage. Miscarriages are a result of chromosomal issues in the developing embryo or foetus. Knowing this can reduce feelings of guilt; but, in turn, create feelings of anxiety over getting pregnant again.
The first stage is to allow yourself to grieve. During the grieving process, which is different for everyone, you may feel one or all of the following.:
- Numbness
- Shock and confusion
- Sadness
- Anger
- Guilt
- Loneliness
Dealing With An Early Pregnancy Loss
First of all, be kind to yourself. Take as much time as you need to grieve the loss and reach out to people who care about you. Reaching out to others for help can be difficult, but do not isolate yourself. Share your feelings with someone close to you, and allow them to be there for you and support you. Tell them exactly what you need, as it can be difficult for them to understand what to say or do to help you.- Don’t judge yourself, it is normal to grieve after going through something of this magnitude. It is also normal to feel anxious about any future pregnancies. There is no right or wrong way to do things when it comes to grief. Every person has a different time frame for processing things. Working through the pain and the heartache can look different for everyone, so allow yourself all the time needed.
- Reach out to your partner, if you have one. Sometimes, talking to your partner can help, as both of you might be suffering in silence to try to make sure the other person does not get triggered. Partners are often afraid that if they share their feelings about what happened, they may cause you to feel more grief and anxiety. However, a partner’s silence can sometimes also mean they are unaffected by the miscarriage, which can be even more painful.
- If you are unable to cope, consult a professional. You could also join a support group or community of women who have been through the same.
Physical Side Effects of a Miscarriage
A miscarriage can cause several physical side effects like:- Vaginal Bleeding: Vaginal bleeding will most likely continue for a few days, with spotting lasting for up to six weeks
- Cramps: Pain and cramps in the lower abdomen can last for 2-3 days. Most of the tissue passes within 2-4 hours of the cramping
- Breast Pain: You may feel discomfort in your breasts after a miscarriage. Wear a supportive bra to get some relief
- Fatigue: You might feel exhausted and weak after a miscarriage. It is also common to have trouble sleeping and lose your appetite
Pregnancy After Miscarriage
A really common question that a lot of women have is if and when they will be ready to try again. Consult with your doctor about this. You will most likely have a normal menstrual cycle about four to six weeks after the miscarriage has happened, and it is usually safe to conceive after one normal menstrual cycle. At times, you may be advised to go through further medical testing to determine what caused the miscarriage. While you may be physically ready to try again, being emotionally ready and healed can be a whole other journey. Emotional healing takes a lot longer than physical healing, so it would be best to wait till you are entirely ready to get pregnant again. Fears about experiencing another miscarriage are common after losing a pregnancy. The truth is that most women who have had a miscarriage go on to have a successful pregnancy the next time around. At such a time, reaching out to loved ones for support can be extremely beneficial. You should also speak to your partner if you have one, about any emotions you are experiencing, as they would most likely be experiencing complex emotions as well. At a difficult time like this, a partner may be confused about the best way to approach the topic with you, as it could trigger responses in you as well. Do not hesitate to reach out to your partner for support. It is also a good idea to speak to a professional about the concerns you have. You can also join communities of women who have gone through the same.
