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What Channels Do Toddlers Experience After a New Baby Arrival
Toddlers aged 1 to 3 undergo rapid maturation in social cognition, attachment, and emotional regulation, making them sensitive to changes in their environment and their ability to form strong bonds. A new baby can alter the environment for toddlers, potentially activating their stress response mechanism. Research shows that toddlers may exhibit temporary behavioural changes and emotional challenges for a few months after the birth of a sibling.With changing family dynamics and emotional stress, a toddler's brain undergoes significant rewiring, which affects their communication and cognition. However, it has also been found that becoming siblings helps develop the “social brain” in toddlers, making them more empathetic and understanding. Older siblings, depending on their family size, birth order, and parenting style, can act as role models and demonstrate a positive bonding with the new baby.
How Toddlers Think About Pregnancy, Birth, and Separation
Toddlers understand pregnancy through the mother's physical changes and changed routine. Toddlers develop object permanence, which enables them to realise that people and objects continue to exist even when they are out of sight. As object permanence intensifies, toddlers' anxiety about separation arises, and they understand their mother will be physically absent. This can trigger distress, and anxiety threatens the toddlers' understanding of parental caregiving, resulting in clinginess and regressive actions.Preparing the Toddler Before the Baby Arrives
To reduce a toddler's stress and tantrums, parents can help them ease the transition with proactive preparation.- Early Involvement: Discussing the baby with the toddler, allowing them to feel the baby's movements, making them participate in building a nursery, and taking them for baby shopping helps them believe that a new member is going to join and reduces their fear of exclusion. Calling them “big brother” and “big sister” makes it easier to accept the new roles and anticipate changes, regulate expectations, and fear.
- Validate Emotions: While mothers are pregnant, the changes cause toddlers to experience a mix of emotions, including joy, anger, and fear. They may also have multiple questions and doubts. Patiently answering toddlers’ questions helps them build emotional resilience. Verbally teaching them about their sibling responsibilities helps mitigate misunderstanding during this transition.
- Maintaining Routine: Maintaining a predictable routine for meal, play, and sleep timings reduces cortisol levels and behavioural changes. To reinforce the importance, spend a few minutes every day interacting and playing with the toddler.
- Encourage participation: Including babies by sharing age-appropriate responsibilities boosts their sibling bonding and reduces jealousy and resistance. Tasks such as picking up diapers, helping with changing clothes, and reading books to the babies help them reduce rivalry and offer a smooth transition. Praise them for their little effort and kindness.
- Prepare for Physical Separation: Toddlers naturally have separation anxiety, which can intensify during childbirth. When mothers leave for the hospital, they experience distress and fear of abandonment. To avoid that feeling, practice short absences, creating predictable routines, offering comfort items, and communicating empathy about the absence and expected return.
Introducing a Toddler to the Baby
- Bring the toddler to the hospital for the visit, ultrasound screenings, and encourage them to engage with the foetus.
- Share stories and videos on positive first meeting experiences.
- Before the first meeting, place the baby in a crib, car seat, or mat, rather than having the parents hold the baby.
- Allow the baby to be actively involved in infant care.
- Speak in reflective language to toddlers to process their emotions and adjust to changes.
First Week After Sibling Birth
The first week is rather critical for the toddler, mother, and the baby. Toddlers and babies require constant, unwavering attention from their mothers, while mothers need a long period of healing.- 30-40% of toddlers show signs of jealousy in the first few weeks. Jealousy is a natural response when a new baby arrives. Observe if the toddler is exhibiting clinginess, tantrums, and seeking attention. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their emotions instead of ignoring or dismissing them.
- Approximately 20-35% of toddlers exhibit regression after the birth of a sibling. Bedwetting and sucking thumbs are their coping mechanisms. Instead of being punished for their regressive behaviour, supporting them with comfort and reassurance helps them feel secure and important.
- Spend shared time with the baby and toddler. Being emotionally available, actively listening and comforting the toddler allows them to realise they hold a special place in their parents' hearts.
Caregivers should be sensitive and maintain a consistent caregiving routine for the toddlers. Spending quality time, acknowledging their emotions, responding empathetically, involving them in caregiving tasks, and using positive language help them cope with the transition and foster a deep love between the siblings.
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FAQs on Prepare Your Toddler For Sibling: Tips For Before, During, And After Birth
- How long does it take a toddler to adjust to a new sibling?
It may take a few weeks to months to get used to a new sibling. For the first few weeks, toddlers may show regressive and anxious behaviour due to the shared attention and changing family dynamics. - What is the oldest sibling syndrome?
Older sibling syndrome is not medically recognised; rather, it refers to the feelings of the firstborn children. Firstborn children may feel a sense of responsibility, which can put pressure on them to behave perfectly, leading siblings to meet high expectations.
